Before You Get Sassy


Before you get sassy – don’t judge a book by its cover. Instant noodles are still a happening product. Really!!! It’s the #1 selling food product in Asia…….Pause….. Before your eyes roll back and you say to yourself …. no shit Jim?? Wow, Asia loves noodles??? Wow, would have never thought of that. Interesting… Hey, keep your panties up and wait for it!

China is the number one consumer of Instant Noodles on the planet and guess what?? The US is number five on the list. What does that say?? (Without doing math on per capita use) Our nation has a few noodle eating, loving, sucking mother fuckers. Yes, the shits good, it’s good because its affordable, accessible and can be used in so many, many different ways.

Throw away the Asian Instant Noodle jokes – noodles are noodles!!! Asian, Italian, whatever. It’s a base to build your perfect bowl of soup or your perfect bowl of pasta. It’s no different than building a perfect sandwich with a soft roll or baguette. Options are endless.

Ya, ya, ya I know!!! This is college budget food. I used to eat this stuff dry, just dash the seasoning packet on it and you have a large, square salty chip. It was good then, it’s still good now.

What I’m trying to help you grasp is why there are products on the market you should embrace, revisit and take another look at. Old school, ghetto, cheap -whatever the word – the reason these products still exists is because there is value in them. Think Wonder Bread……. see your smiling right now. Who doesn’t like Wonder Bread!

Tonight, I decided to upgrade and spin my instant noodles by heating them in chicken stock not water (that’s Ninja shit – water is boring- use stock- it’s bomb). After making my base, I added left over prime rib (prime rib sandwich from lunch today). Dropped in the flavor packet, fresh cut scallions, ponzu, miso paste and Sambal. Herrow!!!

And yes, chicken and beef work together. Don’t worry, a cow and chicken can make it to second base and French kiss in your hot tub of soup. Stop being a chaperone and let heavy petting happen. Make your Love Boat of soup, unbridled and uninhibited.
And for those of you who say the flavor packets in instant noodles are full of MSG, yes, they are. But MSG isn’t a bad product. “Chinese Restaurant Syndrome” is 100% bullshit. As much as you think it’s not good for you, it’s an urban legend. It’s no worse than the salt and sugar we eat today. WTS (acronym for Wikipedia That Shit)

I’ll save the MSG topic for another rant, I keep MSG right next to salt and pepper on my table. It’s flavor can be called Umami and you might want to look that word up as well -a discussion for another time.

Tonight, I just whipped up an incredible bowl of soup that cost me under a dollar. Pat on back – ohh Jim you Frugal Diner you! But you know what I did? I opened a bottle of Russian River Pinot worth more than a signed pair of Jordan’s to drink with my meal. It matched perfectly – and why did I open such an incredible bottle with my meal. You know the answer….. eat and live “Five Star to Dive Bar!” Apart or together all dollar levels of food and wine can work together with a little love.

Remember cows can get frisky with chickens, and you can combine old and new products, making them “EXCITING and NEW”. Remember it’s always your LOVE BOAT, so show some love and take another look at old school products. Issac – make me a Hurricane, all aboard! #fivestartodivebar #5star2divebar

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