Horror at Club Alley Cat

Waikiki, Hawaii

I remember going to my first haunted house as a kid and holding hands with two buddies in sheer fright. I remember seeing The Exorcist for the first time. I still feel the terror of Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and The Shining. All experiences that scared the shit out of me but hardened and calloused me for the future.

As I held my dates hair as she moaned and puked into a bush, I asked myself what the fuck did I just witness. Our giddy excitement and anticipation turned into horror and here I was gazing into a brick wall lacking the ability to speak. I don’t believe in exploitation of people or animals for that matter. Shit, if you know me, I love VIP access and front row seats. But last night, at Club Alley Cat was a collision of the senses, a freak show and I questioned my ability to make good choices. Sitting front row while I gripped onto my Coors light can watching our entertainer rummage around something that resembled a hatchet wound looking for her keys, phone, wallet and a few gold fish…… simply isn’t normal. I was told this place is where old strippers went to die, a Gentlemen’s Club Waikiki. I was not told the staff resembled catching my great grandmother naked in the shower. Imagine if you will the beautiful woman in the Shining Jack Nicholson finds in the shower and who turns into the grotesque, laughing, decaying old woman. You simply cannot un-see those things in the movies and especially in person.  After my night at Club Alley Cat, I will forever be scared.

Halloween came early for Lauren and I and we still haven’t kissed today – sexuality and the ability to touch each other is non existent and we simply lack the ability to register the horrific events from last night.  Maybe we should have just gone to Cheesecake Factory for dinner and drinks. Maybe we should have just gone to a Luau or sat on the beach…. Nah,  fuck that – last night was awesome!

If you enjoyed that story you might find this one entertaining as well –  Hello Kitty Death Dance  check it out!

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